Whirlwind

Ever fill like your head is spinning, like you're the boat caught in the whirlwind of the ocean waiting for the waves to either succumb you or die down. Well, that is probably the best way to describe my past couple of weeks.

I got home from Thailand, hung out with the parents and then back to work. Except I had another class and a teacher had asked me earlier to teach for her. Another 18 hour week as well as having an awful cold. Facebook deleted my wall and I felt so alone like no one cared but no one really knew. I'm prone to disaster hah...guess part of that comes with human nature.

I feel like I have learned so much from the Father in the past few weeks that today I took sometime to process it. I think I am still way off from grasping most of it but I know He has a plan and that it is all in His hands. Just resting with Him was relaxing, that and cleaning a little, of course I didn't finish but that is ok. Life is a process right? A process we are constantly processing? haha yes that is how it seems to work. There is always so much that I don't get done each week but I think that is part of His plan. If I could do everything I wouldn't need Him right? Besides it is not of me anyways as much as I want it to be. It is Him!

Blessed

Wow, I am in awe that the Father allowed my parents to visit even though it was only for 4 days. My time in Thailand was also blessed a lot more than I expected. I am teaching 18 hours this week but created the lesson plans already. It was really neat to allow my father to be able to see my work and get to be a part of it.

Today I have been down a little as to be expected. I foolishly forget all the sacrifices my parents make for me and how blessed I truly am. My theme for the next two months is blessed. I am trying to focus on the positive instead of the negative.

I might not have a camera but my dad took a lot of pictures and so I have several.

Hopefully my students will bring pictures on thursday for their notecards.

I have a bad cough but my Lao friend went with me to the "clinic" and I got some medicine today. It has helped a little but maybe I am just being ambitious.

I stayed at the Lao school for awhile today b/c I did not want to be alone and they were all really sweet for me as I wrote my lesson plans. Thanks guys!

Lastly, I like quotes one of my favorites is by Emily Dickinson "If I can stop one heart from breaking, or ease ones pain or help a fainting robin unto his nest again I shall not live in vain."

I like to write so here is a take off of that poem as it relates to my life in Laos.

"If I can help one person

to befriend the father

or loosen their chains

of sins past

I know my impact for him will last

but I alone cannot intercede

For it is his strength that carries me

And I am thankful for the strength from him in those around me

The hands, arms, and legs

The body

I ask the father to do his work in me

May I be fruitful

In order to bless thee

For a life gained

Far outweighs the cost

O father

Help me to be lost

Lost in thee

so that I may bring you all the glory

All the glory

If I can show one person his love

And bring a bit of heaven inside ye

I shall not live in vain

I shall not live in vain."

Bao Mai

Pao mai is the Lao word for goals. Mai is new and Pao I'm not sure what it is but Bompao is balloon so something to do with the idea of expanding maybe. Pao is a nickname for people with chubby cheeks. Maybe to hold something new? Anyways, I don't usually make new years goals but this year I decided to make one. One day in our Sunday group we were talking about being bold but gracious. I want to learn to be more honest with those around me and expect the same in return. Not sure how to go about it but I've already seen some progress. I care way too much what others think and not enough what the Father does. Who do I really live for some days?

On a different note a funny story- so I went to the eye doctor b/c I can see fine but when I read I have to hold the book really close. I just wanted some reading glasses. Well they gave me this test and all I ever saw was a blurry picture I think it tested my pupils or something. Then they told me basically your eyes get tired. Just close them for 5 minutes and when you open them you can see again. Well, 5 minutes on 5 minutes off is not going to work for me. I'll have to find another eye doctor in Vientiane...hahah