A glimpse of Christ in me or at least that is what I hope it to be

Yesterday I pondered the lives of my grandparents. God chose to take 3 of the 4 of them away on the same day different years. You guessed it December 7th. Grandfather Hogan (Robert Edward Hogan) was the first to go in 1996. I was 13. Then three years later in 1999 He took Nana(( Martha Elizabeth (Hamill) English)). I was 16. He graced me with the presence of Papa ( Eugene Wesley English) for another 7 years before he too went to be with the Lord. The date of Papa's death is debated because he died in the night alone. I will swear till my dieing day that it is December 7th because that night( guess earlier that morning) while taking a study break from my Arkansas history test at 2:37 am a feeling of grief overwhelmed me and I remember saying out load to myself "Someone is dead." I went to bed and woke up a few hours later to review before taking a test I would thankfully ace. Anyways, 19 missed calls later my dad shared the news. My dad and I had been both been given a peace when we saw him around Thanksgiving that that might be the last time we saw him. In the chaos of finals I hadn't put together two and two.

Last night I wrote 8 pages honoring their history. Reading the Old Testament reminds one of the importance of those names and Papa had such a love for history.I also talked about how their legacy, temperaments were passed down to us and my parents too I know they are also in my cousins but I focused mainly on the attributes in my immediately family and how all of us reflect one or another of them somehow. In BSF all I could think about was how humble Papa was and what a great earthly example of Christ He was and his sacrifice. The last thing I ever said to each of them was "I love you! I love you! I love you!" I want to share the last page with you.

Papa once said that he may have taught his grandchildren a many things, but an important lesson his grandchildren taught him was the importance of saying "I love you!" Father you said I love you through your sons death on the cross in a way we never could have. We don't suffer because we are unworthy but because we are worthy we suffer for you. Just like my family and I are glimpses of our grandparents. We are all a glimpse of you. This shadowed effect- you have to have the light and the object before creating the shadow a friend shared tonight. You are the light may I be the object and your grace the shadow I show the world too. Just like we are all like each other but not by our own means or choice. We didn't earn our temperaments/personalities we were just given them before we were born so we cannot lose them. Salvation is the same way sin our debt but blood freely given to take it away. Thank you that I cannot earn forgiveness so I cannot lose it. Help me to be a picture of a picture that says "Jesus I love you." I write this history today for their legacy thinking of Papa and his love for history. Oh how I miss them all (( I wrote about my Gran, Gran (Bette Elizabeth Hogan) too)) , but Father they are with you and in us live on. Someday I only hope others will look back and see what you oh sovereign Father have meant to me and turn to you and say " I love you! I love you! I love you." Thanks for redeeming me Father, Son, Spirit, Almighty King. Help me to prolong this history whether through family or friends be my means to the ends. If you ever gift me with a family of my own may my legacy, parents, and grandparents live on or in those friends of mine of mine and the children of thee for we are all adopted in your eyes, come from the same genealogy. Thanks for loving me.